New Eyes

I reluctantly came to Michigan for my brother's retirement party. I expected to have another agonizing, tedious visit with my family that is so full of sad stories. This time I saw them with "new eyes." I recognized that they do love me, in their own way. They all welcomed me and talked to me about their lives.

I recognized that I'd closed myself off to them because of the sense of overwhelm I always had around them. I was too sensitive to their pain and felt helpless to alleviate it. Somehow this time I didn't feel overwhelm.

I listened in a new way too. Just because they don't speak clearly and directly doesn't mean they aren't interested in me. As a therapist I'm used to very direct communication. I forget about the subtext in ordinary interactions. I am grateful for this insight.

Hmmmmm.....on the trip home, when our plane was cancelled in Chicago, I made acquaintance with a man who turned out to be a minister in Ottawa, Canada. He spoke with amazement of how he'd started out as a drug using hippy in the 60's and now has 31 years in the ministry, 8 churches and a high ratio of men in his congregations. His own comment was "who would have thought" given how he started out. God certainly does move in mysterious ways.